Tuesday, January 10, 2017

My So Called Marathon

By Guest Blogger Cassie Roberts

My so called Marathon doesn’t have the ending I expected. I mean, it’s pretty evident that you have to run 26.2 miles to run a marathon. My longest run this year was 18 miles, so how does someone like me have the audacity to title her year of running, “My so called Marathon.” Shouldn’t that be reserved for the athletes who accomplished such a feat?

Well....my marathon was a little different. It didn’t end at a finish line and it certainly didn’t start at a starting line.  It was an accumulation of something that goes beyond that of which any race could provide me. The true marathon for me was something within. Something that doesn’t come with a shinny trophy or cheers at the end. You couldn’t see the progress on a Runkeeper chart or your pace being blared every mile. There was no map to guide me, but similar to a marathon there was a lot of fighting with what my coach calls “the mind monkeys.”

I started running in 2015. My race started the second my feet decided to move and not give up. When I made the choice to become a survivor rather than a victim. That year I was sexually assaulted and abused. The harassment continued well into 2016. The trauma rendered me unable to function. With many survivors you try to piece together what happened to you. For me, my brain choose to shut down. It went into survival mode and never came out of it.

What I was experiencing was PTSD. I know that PTSD can be overcome in some cases. It doesn’t have to rule you and I refused to let it rule me. That’s were the running came in. Every mile I started to process the pain. I started to piece together everything that happened to me. I also reclaimed power over my own body, which was taken from me.

The running helped, but I found myself needing more. That’s when I discovered TRP. I was scared to say the least, to show up to a track not knowing anyone, but that quickly changed with the warmth I felt from others. I wanted to set more goals for myself and I asked Keith and Shokofeh if I could join in their coaching program.

Keith decided to take on my stubbornness and coach me. He talked me into running my first race, Run with the Roosters. I thought he was crazy for asking me to run this race, because I thought I wasn’t a “true” runner. I did what he said and I ended up placing 2nd in my age group.


That wasn’t the best thing that happened that day. What really meant something to me was the people  who cheered for me at the finish (including my coach) and having a friend running in with me to the finish line. I felt like I was worth something and I hadn’t felt that in a long time.

My coach had me run another race. The Catalina State Park Splitz. Again, I freaked out and thought I wasn’t good enough. With friends that helped me train and a schedule from my coach I was able to place 2nd in my age group.


My last race for the year was suppose to be the Tucson Marathon.  It was my goal race, but unfortunately, like life, things don’t go as planed. I ended up getting injured and unable to run. That injury hasn’t stopped me from wanting to run a marathon, just like life’s unfortunate events didn’t stop me from living. In 2017 I hope to run my first marathon, not as a survivor, but as a warrior.

I’m thankful for the friends I have made in TRP, my family, my significant other, my children, and SACASA for helping me see that their is a finish line and life is worth living. This was a different kind of marathon for me...it was my so called marathon.


 “I am not what happened to me. I am what I chose to become” Carl Jung




Sunday, January 1, 2017

One Foot in Front of the Other

By Guest Blogger and 2016 TRP Athlete of the Year Susan Alexander

Coaches asked us to write a sort of “year in review” blog about our running life. Problem....my thoughts are clearest while I’m out there running. I have all the best revelations after around mile 6 and beyond. Especially on trails. And especially when I’m alone. By the time I get home and peel off my sweaty bra (isn’t that the first thing you just HAVE to do!) my mind is once again back to my non running life. All the revelations are shelved until I go out again.

So here it is New Years - seems like the appropriate day to get some of this down. It is a “rest” day for me and so what to do to get some running mind inspiration?? Running movies!! Of course :-)

I chose The Last Mile. Excellent. Wow - these runners are articulate even when they aren’t running! And for a bit I was transported into running mind even while sitting on the couch.

As I reflect back on my life I must honestly say that I DO have regrets. Regrets for things I didn’t do - missed moments. At the root of these regrets is FEAR. Fear that kept me from following my heart.

So what does this have to do with my year review of running? Truthfully I’m not completely sure. But there is a connection between facing my fears and pushing my limits running.

At the beginning of the running year 2016 I think I made a vague goal of trying to find a balance between pushing to my potential and avoiding injury. My life pattern seems to be holding back. Always holding back emotionally in relationships, holding back physically in challenges - always holding back because of fear of failure. In December 2015 I ran my first marathon. My second in January of 2016 and my third in February 2016. The February marathon was Sedona. It was obvious to me I had not done nearly enough hill training. I bonked at mile 15 and had my slowest finish of the three. I decided that hills would be my focus and I began training on the Mt. Lemmon Control Rd weekly.


My next race would be in May - Whiskey Row - and I wanted to prove to myself that I could run hills. I wasn’t completely pleased with my progress and decided to do the half marathon instead of the full. It was the most fun race I’ve ever run. I ran it with Raeschelle and Marti. That day stands out as one of the best days of 2016. Probably THE BEST.



Promptly afterwards I was down with what I am almost 100 percent certain was a stress fracture of my right fibula.

And then in June the most horrible thing that could have happened did - the love of my life died. And all I knew to do was to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I knew there was a coaching program started but I hadn’t considered it. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with spending the money and I didn’t consider myself someone that was competitive and so of course I didn’t need coaching. I wasn’t trying to “win” anything. But some little voice inside me said “TRY IT”. I think I was just sort of flailing about hoping something would help in the darkness I was living in.

I am so very grateful that I listened to that little voice.

I really wasn’t able to think clearly for myself. I was on auto pilot. Get up. Take care of the animals. Take care of the teenagers. Oh and yes - take care of yourself so you can continue to take care of the animals and the teenagers.

So of course the coaching program was the perfect solution. I could give over the planning to someone else. It became clear to me after only a couple of weeks what an amazing mental relief having a coach is. No longer would I second guess my training plan. I could just get up and follow it.

My running year really began then - July 8 - when I got my first plan from Keith.

I was training for McDowell Ragnar Ultra. My ankle was still “cranky” but I decided not to worry about it and just follow the plan. Following the plan - what I didn’t anticipate was how much that training plan would bring to my life besides a consistent running routine.


 At the lowest point in my life I was surrounded by the most loving and supportive running family a person could ever dream of - Tucson Runners Project. I can’t imagine what this year would have been like without this beautiful group of individuals.


 Many have gone out of their way to support and lift me up. Others have inspired me just by who they are. And I feel I have gained a wealth of relationships this year simply because I chose to keep putting one foot in front of the other.


I am a stronger runner at the end of 2016. It still makes me bashful to say that. But I am. Hills still scare me. But now I love them - and I am loving embracing fear. I chose for my final run of the year to once again push myself out of my comfort zone a bit. I’ve never run in snow. So I chose to run in Bear Wallow and surrounding trails (wearing my new crampons). It was amazing. I enjoyed every moment. The fast ones, the slow ones, the painful ones....I didn’t know that blowing snow stings your eyes! (I hope I do this enough to justify buying goggles). I didn’t know how fun crampons are. They are helpful in so many ways! I needed to scramble up steep embankments to avoid overflowing streams - crampons to the rescue. They give traction running up muddy hills with rain water flowing down around. But they are most fun in the snow. Even just the sound of them - crunch crunch crunch. And then they get heavy with accumulations of snow, ice and debris. If I am careful I can run and shake them and knock out the build up while moving. So much fun!


I am looking forward to a new running year filled with running adventures on new trails. I am now training for the Oracle Rumble. It will be my first Ultra. (no - Randi - I don’t count the Ragnar Ultra because of the way it is split up :-) ). I expect and hope to love it. I am thinking about it as that day I will get to spend out ALL DAY on trails with friends. Bruce and Randi - we got this!



It would only be better if I could take my ever faithful running companion - Cowboy. After all - he is training for it as well.



I want to run with my heart - not just my legs - and see where that takes me. I want to build even stronger relationships with myself and my running family. And I want to sign up for a few races that scare the crap out of me!